The Power of Acknowledgement—Giving Thanks

All sacred journeys require a guide. Three nights, that’s all I had in Amboseli. Three nights, a long weekend really, yet those 3 nights and corresponding days changed me. My time in Amboseli was a spiritual quest, not just a photographic safari. I did not acknowledge that when I booked those 3 nights in January 2020. I only know this now, in hindsight. My intuitive self— that part of me that overrides ego, fears, and doubt—did the planning. At the time of booking, I was operating from the desire to see the Big Tuskers of Amboseli during my 2.5 weeks in Kenya. I felt called to go, but even “the call” wasn’t consciously acknowledged.

Archetypal journeys have points along the way where the hero has the option to bail—a pause: go forward or quit? The first lodge suggested to me was fully booked. The question arose—did I really want to do this? I looked at the map online, put my finger on a highlighted dot on the other side of the park and asked, “How about Tawi Lodge?” There was “room at the inn.” I committed.

The night before my flight, my travel agent sent an anxious email saying all the other passengers had cancelled. I was the only person booked on the flight and Safarilink wouldn’t fly with one passenger. I’d have to pay for another seat if I still wanted to go. Another test: the hero is asked again, are you serious? Yes, I was. If it meant paying for an extra seat, then sobeit. When I touched down on the dirt airstrip there was one land cruiser with one guide waiting for me—Julius Pilipili Memusi. Today’s story is dedicated to Julius, my guide.

My travel agent told the lodge he had a client, a photographer, who was coming to see the Amboseli elephants and she wanted her own guide and driver. That’s all Julius, a Maasai guide, knew about me when he held out his hand in greeting: “Jambo, I’m Julius.” “Would you like to meet Tim?” he asked as we headed off on a dirt track. (I’ve written about the extraordinary meeting with Tim in an earlier blog). With that opening question, I knew the ship had left the shore—the adventure had begun, and it was going to be extraordinary.

Angeles Arrien, one of my teachers and mentors, described four ways people around the world consistently acknowledge each other:

1. Acknowledge each other’s skills
2. Acknowledge each other’s character qualities
3. Acknowledge each other’s appearance
4. Acknowledge the impact we have on each other

Skills: I could not have had a more qualified guide. Julius knows the land, the culture, the wildlife—the elephants in particular—and he is a skilled photographer himself. He knows where to find the animals. He understands and can explain their behaviour. His English is excellent and he can speak with other guides in Maa or Swahili. He’s a good driver—this is important when driving off-road in the bush. The last thing you want is to get stuck in territory that includes poisonous snakes, hungry predators, and unpredictable wild animals.

Character: Julius listens, is patient, and wise. In psychotherapy we call it attunement—being responsive to a person’s mood, emotions, and needs and adapting oneself in accordance with that, simultaneously creating a safe space for healing or creativity. Julius quickly tuned into my keen desire to photograph the Amboseli elephants up close and dedicated our entire trip together to achieving that goal. He respected my silence, answered my questions, joined me in our mutual love of elephants. He understands the role of hospitality, he knows when to lead, when to wait, when to follow. He recognizes the signs—emotional, physical, and spiritual.

Appearance: Julius looked professional dressed in the khaki uniform of a safari guide. The scars on his cheeks identified him as someone who is initiated into his Maasai culture—two worlds were immediately present when we met.

Impact: The significance of my time in Amboseli is only beginning to reveal itself. Julius played a key role. Without his knowledge and depth of character, I doubt we would have met the herds of elephants that marched directly to us. His indigenous knowledge and knowing informed his decisions. “Let’s wait here.” He chose the place; he chose the time. He instilled a confidence in his choices. We stayed, we waited; the elephants came. He participated in the wonder and awe of our experience without talking about it. He knew something significant had happened. He knew not to speak too soon. He knew we had been in sacred time.

Our final game drive Julius asked, “Shall we go and find Tim?” Since our time together had opened with Tim, it seemed natural that it should close with Tim. We set off into the bush close to the lodge. Tim and his buddies liked to hang out in the area, but there was no guarantee that we would find him. We bumped along slowly in the dense undergrowth. It was slow going. We came across a big bull who raised his trunk to sniff us out. It’s more than a little intimidating when you know you are the focus of attention of such a massive animal. Julius was calm; that helped settle my racing heart.

Perhaps that bull was also signalling Tim and his friends that we were coming. We came around a grove of trees and there was Tim with 4 of his buddies. A good guide is willing to go the distance. A good guide trusts in the journey.

Julius parked on a small rise facing the elephants. Sundowners, cocktails at sunset, are quintessential safari hospitality. He set up a table, put out some snacks and asked, “Gin and Tonic?”

“Asante sana, thanks!” I replied. He poured my drink and opened a Fanta for himself. Together we faced the elephants and toasted them in gratitude.

“In all my years, I’ve never had a moment like this with Tim before,” said Julius, amplifying the magic and mystery of the moment. What a blessing—what a privilege to share the moment with both Tim and Julius. Neither of us knew that a month later Tim would be dead, adding even more meaning to that farewell ceremony.

The practice of acknowledgement is a healing practice, a teachable skill we can all learn. It is available 24/7 and is completely free. It is a gift that keeps on giving. Thank you Julius—I am forever grateful for your guidance, your expertise, your kindness, and your company.