Slow to Middlin
As a trauma therapist I adhered to the belief–Slower is faster. It refers to the pace of a treatment plan. When we are hurting, we want the pain to be over–now. Give me a pill, make it better–fast. The truth is the quick fix seldom works. We are hard wired to heal; however, it takes time, patience, rest.
My mentor, Angeles Arrien, often said, “We can’t change in the fast lane. Our natural pace is slow to middlin.” I heard this wisdom over twenty years ago, yet I still seem to need to revisit it time and time again. I’m writing a book. I think it should be done. It’s not. My pace is slow to middlin. Am I happy with that? Absolutely not. Inside Voice says, “It should be done by now.”
“Shoulds”–they are paradoxical–can’t live with ‘em can’t live without ‘em. Inside Voice is smirking now, I can hear it. “Yup, I get things done. Without my insistence you would still be thinking about writing a book.”
Inside Voice–let’s call her IV for simplicity–has a nasty edge. She is a bully, yet I don’t want her to go away completely. She does motivate me. She asks good questions when she shifts out of judgment. She can be a valuable editor: Can you make that shorter? Is there a better word for this? Is this really what you meant to say?
I’m ruminating. This is how my weekly posts begin, an idea comes to me. Usually there are two or three a week roving around in my mind. They generally start to show up Thursday, the day after my weekly story is published. I have until Sunday to get the next story to my web helper. I enjoy the writing process. It is personal and reflective with a conversational component thanks to you, my readers.
Returning to slow to middlin; what if The Heartfelt Story this week was one picture? No accompanying story, rather an invitation to contemplate a picture in silence at a pace that is slow to middlin.
I sense IV’s presence. “What? Only one picture? No story? Is that enough?” IV’s tone implies I am definitely on the wrong path. Defences up, I catch myself beginning to circle a familiar track. I resist. “Yup, going to try something new. Take a risk–stretch myself.”
Ha! You’re starting to tell a story; I knew I’d get you there.
IV?
Yes?
We’re going to try something different.
Sure, go ahead. We can talk about this later–for hours.
IV?
Yes?
We’re not going to talk about it. Trust. It will be okay. I’m not going to leave you. You are safe with me.
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